For all the times I heard you say “I love you”
And silently exclaim “why not me?”
When I chose to love countless others,
For all the times you tried to hold my hand
And touched my back,
And brushed your hand through my hair,
And leaned your body against mine;
For all the times when you would talk to me
And share your stories with glowing eyes
And excited breaths and expressive hands;
What really did you want me to feel?
What really did you want me to say?
Did you want me to say “I love you” back
Or tell you it had been you all along?
When truth is, I was afraid
Afraid that I would get hurt
By whom I’ve written these poems for
For years — a decade even,
And sang these sad songs for.